This is a title of a book by psychotherapist and world renowned author, Dr Wayne Dyer, who sadly passed away in August 2015. The book is about personal transformation and how you can improve the quality of your life by tapping into the power that lies within you, using constructive thinking to direct the course of your own destiny. However, this blog isn’t about the book itself – rather I want to talk about the title. There are a number of reviews on-line and You-Tube summaries if you want to learn more about the book itself…
You will see it when you believe it. Not: You will believe when you see it - which is the more common way the phrase is expressed. The twist in the wording prompts a new way of thinking. It says to me that you first must believe to see something. That often we don’t know what we don’t know, and that we need to have faith, or trust that there is another way. That the act of believing will then open up new ways of thinking to enable us to see a perspective that wasn’t open to us before. That ah-ha moment, that moment of insight – Oh yes I see it now! A bit like those optical illusion pictures that appear to change in front of your eyes. Is it a vase or two faces? A crone or a young woman? It all depends on your perspective…
This is the power of positive thinking, of trusting that there is a wisdom that we all possess – if we only allow it to arise, or make a conscious effort to reframe our perspective so that we can see a different viewpoint.
So how do we prepare ourselves to enable a different viewpoint to be experienced? For me it’s not trying to attach a notion of how things should be – which is to say that it’s best not to have an attachment to a specific outcome. Letting whatever will be, be. To achieve this state it requires me to be more present, and more aware of both myself and my surroundings. Living less in my head, as it were… To be open and curious about the world; to look, to hear, to feel and to engage more fully with the world. It’s dropping the ‘should’ way of thinking… They shouldn’t do that… He shouldn’t have cut me off like he did… She should behave this way… This type of thinking creates expectations of outcomes which often don’t eventuate, which could then become a sadness or anger, which then could become depression or anxiety, when then could become… Well you get the picture. Best not to go there in the first place.
The other message that I get from: You will see it when you believe it – is that you need to make an active choice to enable the process to begin. It’s not a passive concept. We have to take the first step, rather than sitting back and waiting for something to inspire us, or come to us. Which is also to say that I need to be open to new experiences; that often things are not as they seem and that I must ‘look behind’, look around, so I can see what else might be going on. Look to see it from another person’s perspective, another culture’s perspective, or another society’s perspective.
We all view the world according to our own unique set of beliefs and values – many of which are moulded by our life experiences, our culture and the society in which we live. Even people in the same family may have quite different values and beliefs. Initially we may adopt some of the values and beliefs of our parents, however often these change over time as we experience more of the world for ourselves. We may even come to question or eventually disregard some of our parents’ values and beliefs.
This process is ongoing throughout our lives – which means we are always learning and growing… It is never too late to change what is not working for us, whether it be a life situation or circumstance – change is a conscious choice we make for ourselves. To start the process of change, first we become aware that there are other options, then we accept that change needs to happen, then we actively choose to make whatever changes are required. If we don’t think things can change – then we are right – they probably won’t… You need to believe it can happen first – then you will start to see that change is possible.
If you want some help to change your outlook on life then give me a call!